I'm in my second semester of clinicals now at predominately chinese-speaking pediatric clinic. Ithought that with time my anxieties would lessen and i'd be able to enjoy my time with patients more. Instead, with more time spent there, come increased responsibilities, more things others expect me to learn and know how to do, but more importantly, more things that I myself wish I knew how to do. Today I was feeling overwhelmed. Translating my spotty medical knowledge into Mandarin, trying to understand what it was that parents were telling me, and trying to chart it all down in a timely and accurate manner was getting to me. Why does it take me 1 hour to see a patient when my preceptor sees 3-4/hour? I guess I let a few of my feelings slide because she gently approached me today, reminding me that she's been at this for 20 years, and not to worry.
I took a long lunch break today, taking time to walk around my neighborhood and getting my mind off of things. For some strange reason a Christmas carol popped into my head, during which I wondered why Christmas carols are only sang during the holiday seasons. It reminded me of Jesus' love for us, how he never got frustrated with his disciples but kept explaining things to them in different ways, certain that they would understand eventually. God had called them to Jesus' side, and each action that they performed and each statement was well thought out and known to God before it even happened. Similarly, I was encouraged that I am in the same situation. God has placed me here, at this time, with these people for a purpose and a reason. This is all planned out, and God is holding my hand this entire time. There is nothing to freak out over, nothing to stress out about.
A verse I love that a sister shared with me:
"If I rise on the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139: 9-10
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